Congratulations on your decision; you have a brave and honorable soul. You have now merged with Smelly Jenkins and his Enormous Fungal Growth for this most dangerous of adventures.

Tommy thanks you for your assistance and assures you that he will do all he can to aid you while you are in the Dungeons of Randomness. He briefs you on the mission then bounds off into the hills like a gazelle. You gaze after him admiringly. You cannot help but say: "What a man."

A great man indeed. A great man with a great wife, Betty the Badger. They have been good friends to you all your life. In fact, they have been more than friends, they have always looked out for you and helped you through life in your times of great need. Now it is your turn to repay their kindness and help them in their time of great need.

You check your satchel for appropriate adventuring items but you are a little disappointed to merely find a banana, a "free cheese roll" voucher, a feather duster and a photo of some Blue - your favourite Colour. Perhaps not the most useful of items for a highly dangerous life-threatening quest but you've no time to trawl around the local shops and buy yourself a shiny sword and sturdy shield so they'll just have to do.

"Come, my Enormous Fungal Growth, to the Dungeons of Randomness we go!" you shout proudly.

As you head off to begin your quest an azure ray bursts through an otherwise cloudy sky. You look up at the brilliant colour and it suddenly fills your heart with hope - yes, you can do this! A sign from Blue perhaps, looking out for you? Or just slighty less clouds in the sky?

Tommy informed you that the entrance to the Dungeons of Randomness is through a purple door in the Badgerville forest. You look around; plenty of brown trees; green leaves; and grey rocks. But no purple door though. If only Tommy gave you some advice. Then you remember that he did tell you exactly how to find it. You are not the greatest at remembering things and sometimes you remember things that didn't happen.

Tommy said to do one of the following, which memory is the right one?

Disco-dance to an imaginary beat for seven years then do forward rolls for a further two years

Or

Make a nice tasty jam sandwich out of twigs and dirt, eat it and then wonder why you just ate twigs and dirt

Or

Turn left at the big oak tree, then a right at the big pointy rock, straight on through the fields, and head for the hills